Here is Adam Richter, the Reading Eagle's social-media guru, pontificating with maximum clarity and insight the insurmountable problems the morning newspaper faces to create a cutting-edge app you can use on your smartphone or iPad:
We're working on one...but...news apps are sputtering...and would you promise to use one if we made one, because, dammit, creating an app is a whole lot of work and we have better things to do, like trolling Facebook comments to block readers.
It's not like every competitor from WFMZ to the Morning Call to the Merc down in Pottstown to the Upper Meatball Township Post-Gazette already has an app up and purring.
Questions...questions...Richter has questions —and not just how can the Eagle install a paywall on your smartphone:
- How often do you read news on your phone?
- Do you scour news apps more than porn?
- What kind of stories do you read? Breaking news? Weather? Two-day-old wire features? Hatza's "Missing Movies"?
- Do the apps you already have crash your phone?
- Would you mind terribly if we blocked police news?
Yeah, they're working on an app, all right. in truth, this is all just blowing smoke, with the smoke emanating directly from Harry Deitz's ass. That's because at a recent staff meeting, one of the young, eager reporters queried the honchos about when an app will be developed.
The answer from the brain trust: "Apps are on the way out. Nobody uses them anymore."